Where has the time gone....I feel like I am slipping away. I was so determined to do this....I was pushing other people and I can't even keep it up myself. What does that say about me.....my email boxes are filling back up after I spent 2 whole days cleaning them out. my blogs are slacking my diet is all but disappeared and it is only 15 days into the year. I feel like that makes me look weak. I know that is how it makes me feel. I read this the other day and it is a quote by Cary Grant...
"My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can." I love the quote but I dont want to just occupy my time...I want to live in between those times...I have often heard it say its not the dates on the headstone that matter it is the dash in between those dates. Today I saw a quote on a friends page that said if we are always dreaming about what we could be...we are wasting the person that we are. I have thought about that for a little while now. i have wondered to myself if I am wasting the person that I am today by trying to become something better. I dont know how to look at it. I feel like I have dreams and goals set that I am working toward...but is striving to achieve something the same as dreaming about it...if I am working to achieve it is it wasting who I am. I am so confused by these thought and if you are reading this...I am sure I am confusing you and you think I am completely insane. I am so glad this is my blog and these are my thoughts that I can throw on it to try to make some sense out of it....
So tomorrow when i get out of this bed......
I am going to my best to do something that matters to me...I am going to spend some much needed time with my hubby. I feel like I have let him down as well as myself this past week by letting everything go. These past few days this bed has been what was defining me....I am so exhausted no matter how much time I seem to spend there and then I end up not sleeping...just laying there....tossing, turning, reading, tossing, turning....it is a vicious cycle......Then when I get up and go in the kitchen....I see this....
It usually says it is after noon and then I feel like I have lost most of my day and then I start getting depressed and accomplish absolutely NOTHING! It is not a great feeling. I end up just giving up. I am tired of giving up and I refuse to let these two items I love so much get the best of me. Hopefully tomorrow I will start letting them go....no matter what time I get out of bed....I will go to the gym and I will make the most of tomorrow no matter what I end up doing or how late I end up doing it.....I am going to take my life back and do something with the time that I have been blessed with!
No comments:
Post a Comment