Tuesday, January 11, 2011

1/11/11 The definition of what I hope to be.

So in doing this 365 project, I have really had to think hard about what exactly defines me. How do you know the answer to that. maybe some people do but I myself have discovered this week that I am struggling to know WHAT DEFINES ME! Me as in Donna Michelle Oates. I am Mary and Thomas Williams Daughter, the baby of 7 children, (well technically they had 6 and then adopted me) I am the Daughter in law of Foster and Tricia Oates, I am the wife of Shane Oates. I am the mother of none..( 9 miscarriages later). I am the friend of many. I am the owner of a lot of dogs and 2 cats and several fish. I am a photographer. I am a business owner. I am pretty crafty if I can make myself get motivated. I am learning to cook. I am overweight. I am trying to do something about being overweight. But what does any of this say about who I really am or what I want to be or what my dreams and goals are. Somewhere in the beginning of this challenge I have asked myself the question over and over again....What defines me. The stresses of every day life? The love of my husband whom I love and adore and appreciate above all else? I have come to the conclusion that I have no idea what defines me because I truly have no idea of what or who I am. Well I cant say that...because I know WHAT I am....I am just not sure of WHO I am. I was hanging out with Rachel the other night and was going thru some of the writing that I have done and ran across an email I once got.

May We All Be Coffee



A carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?
Category: Life

Carrots, Eggs & Coffee
A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a
cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and
how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to
make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling.
It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with
water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the
first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last
she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without
saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the
carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and
placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a
bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots.
She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the
daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she
observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The
daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked,
'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same
adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in
strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the
boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile.
Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after
sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The
ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling
water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on
your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee
bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but
with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with
the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a
financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and
stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and
tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot
water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets
hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean,
when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation
around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest
do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity?
Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to
make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make
you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of
everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their
way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you
can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and
heartaches.


May we all be COFFEE!!!!!!!



It really made me start to think about what I am doing and if I am letting life squeeze the life outta me.... or if I am letting it harden me....what I want to do is to be like a coffee bean..... I want to change the world around me...not give in and let it change me.... So today...what defines me is COFFEE!!!!!

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