A new year A new challenge!

So today (still 1/1/12 I havent went to sleep yet.) started a brand new year and this year I am going to start working on some new challenges.... I am going to try to be faithful to the challenges.... Today's challenge was emotion.... I don't think I could have captured a better emotion than this... Most of our family was outside playing freeze tag, duck duck goose, and red rover at 11 pm last night and of course I was on the porch with the camera. My little nephew got tagged and was frozen so I figured I would take a still shot of him while he was frozen in place. So I called his name and he said to me in his little giggly frustrated voice Aunt Donna I cant turn around, I am frozen and I will fall. I said one quick second...just look at me...so this was the look he gave me when he spun his little head around, I snapped and he fell.....this was the very beginning of the fall. I love this kid and he never ceases to amaze me and can always make me laugh. I have loved him since long before he was born! I will love him till I am gone. I am so thankful that I get to be a part of his life and hopefully he will always know how much I love him and want only the best for him. I have always had a very special bond with him. I love him like he was my very own!!! I love you Andrew....Uncle Shane says that when your older your gonna hate me for this picture...but I think he is wrong...I think your gonna love it with your silly little self. I guess time will tell what emotion this will continue to bring!

3/20/11 Breathing new life into my photography.....

I have been attending an online workshop this weekend. I have learned so much and have realized that I have a new love for photography. I have been completely amazed. I can tell you this, I have pulled out my manual for my camera. I will be learning new things daily. I am ready for this adventure!!! BRING IT ON! I cant wait to see where it goes....

catching up.....am I seriously 4 days behind.

Where has the time gone....I feel like I am slipping away. I was so determined to do this....I was pushing other people and I can't even keep it up myself. What does that say about me.....my email boxes are filling back up after I spent 2 whole days cleaning them out. my blogs are slacking my diet is all but disappeared and it is only 15 days into the year. I feel like that makes me look weak. I know that is how it makes me feel. I read this the other day and it is a quote by Cary Grant... 
"My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can." I love the quote but I dont want to just occupy my time...I want to live in between those times...I have often heard it say its not the dates on the headstone that matter it is the dash in between those dates. Today I saw a quote on a friends page that said if we are always dreaming about what we could be...we are wasting the person that we are. I have thought about that for a little while now. i have wondered to myself if I am wasting the person that I am today by trying to become something better. I dont know how to look at it. I feel like I have dreams and goals set that I am working toward...but is striving to achieve something the same as dreaming about it...if I am working to achieve it is it wasting who I am. I am so confused by these thought and if you are reading this...I am sure I am confusing you and you think I am completely insane. I am so glad this is my blog and these are my thoughts that I can throw on it to try to make some sense out of it....
So tomorrow when i get out of this bed......

I am going to my best to do something that matters to me...I am going to spend some much needed time with my hubby. I feel like I have let him down as well as myself this past week by letting everything go. These past few days this bed has been what was defining me....I am so exhausted no matter how much time I seem to spend there and then I end up not sleeping...just laying there....tossing, turning, reading, tossing, turning....it is a vicious cycle......Then when I get up and go in the kitchen....I see this....

It usually says it is after noon and then I feel like I have lost most of my day and then I start getting depressed and accomplish absolutely NOTHING! It is not a great feeling. I end up just giving up. I am tired of giving up and I refuse to let these two items I love so much get the best of me. Hopefully tomorrow I will start letting them go....no matter what time I get out of bed....I will go to the gym and I will make the most of tomorrow no matter what I end up doing or how late I end up doing it.....I am going to take my life back and do something with the time that I have been blessed with!

1/11/11 The definition of what I hope to be.

So in doing this 365 project, I have really had to think hard about what exactly defines me. How do you know the answer to that. maybe some people do but I myself have discovered this week that I am struggling to know WHAT DEFINES ME! Me as in Donna Michelle Oates. I am Mary and Thomas Williams Daughter, the baby of 7 children, (well technically they had 6 and then adopted me) I am the Daughter in law of Foster and Tricia Oates, I am the wife of Shane Oates. I am the mother of none..( 9 miscarriages later). I am the friend of many. I am the owner of a lot of dogs and 2 cats and several fish. I am a photographer. I am a business owner. I am pretty crafty if I can make myself get motivated. I am learning to cook. I am overweight. I am trying to do something about being overweight. But what does any of this say about who I really am or what I want to be or what my dreams and goals are. Somewhere in the beginning of this challenge I have asked myself the question over and over again....What defines me. The stresses of every day life? The love of my husband whom I love and adore and appreciate above all else? I have come to the conclusion that I have no idea what defines me because I truly have no idea of what or who I am. Well I cant say that...because I know WHAT I am....I am just not sure of WHO I am. I was hanging out with Rachel the other night and was going thru some of the writing that I have done and ran across an email I once got.

May We All Be Coffee

A carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?
Category: Life

Carrots, Eggs & Coffee
A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a
cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and
how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to
make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling.
It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with
water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the
first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last
she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without
saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the
carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and
placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a
bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots.
She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the
daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she
observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The
daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked,
'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same
adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in
strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the
boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile.
Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after
sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The
ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling
water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on
your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee
bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but
with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with
the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a
financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and
stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and
tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot
water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets
hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean,
when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation
around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest
do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity?
Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to
make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make
you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of
everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their
way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you
can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and
heartaches.


May we all be COFFEE!!!!!!!

It really made me start to think about what I am doing and if I am letting life squeeze the life outta me.... or if I am letting it harden me....what I want to do is to be like a coffee bean..... I want to change the world around me...not give in and let it change me.... So today...what defines me is COFFEE!!!!!

1/10/11...my makeup day....

This was the picture I intended to take and post yesterday...however...I started feeling really bad...so it had to be made up for today. This man certainly defines me. I never ever thought I would be where I am today. I have fallen so deeply in love with this man....I love most everything about him. I wouldnt trade him for the world. I feel like I have most definitely found the place where my heart feels at home.....Although I find myself competing with that game he is playing...LOL!

1/9/11 Day 1 of something that defines me.....

I have been thinking about this all day wondering what was going to define me today. Although I love my husband more than words could ever begin to imagine and I was about to go take a picture of him playing his game....Jackie came in the dining room where I was sitting thinking about this blog and she was completely comical. Yes it was cold outside and she was about to walk out the door to stay at a friends house....however she looked like the little kid on a christmas story according to Rachel...you know the one who couldnt put his arms down because he had on so many layers.....She had on jeans, sweatpants, and flannel pajamas. She had on a tshirt a hoodie and another jacket....she said I am kinda hot right now but it is cold out there....you know those whole 2 minutes from the house to the warm vehicle and from the warm vehicle to the other house. Bless her heart. I am not making fun of her but this was hilarious. I am so thankful that she is a part of my life. Although I would never try to replace her mother, I am very blessed that she is just like a daughter to me....Thank you Jaq for bringing such an amazing joy into my life and replacing an insane amount of hurt from not being able to have a child. I love you pretty girl! THank you for making me smile and giving me purpose on a daily basis. you will never know exactly what you mean to me! and that is ok...because I do! I LOVE YOU!

1/8/11 The Momma......

If there ever was a momma who loved her kids and would dedicate her life to being a mother it is this woman. She has truly become my very best friend. From the time I first met her I knew there was something special about her. I dated the father or her 2 older children a few years ago and we often tease the reason I was with him was so that her and the kids could pass thru my life. I truly believe that and I am so very thankful for the friendship that I have with her. The love that I have from her kids. They truly feel like my own. The 2 older ones often joke that I am their second mom. I dont think I could love them any more if they were my own. I was blessed to spend some time with them today and was once again reminded why I feel as though they are a part of my family! From the minute I saw them came the hugs and the kisses and the I have missed you soooooooooooo muches. There is nothing in the world like those feelings for me. I am so thankful! I have learned so much from this family.....starting with "THE MOMMA". I have never seen anyone aside from my own mom be so giving to her children. She has given them the love and support every child deserves. I cant ever remember a time since I have known her that she didnt make those children her #1 priority. She has 4 kids of her own, as well as a step daughter that now lives with her. Since I have known her I have seen her take in a teenage boy that belonged to a friend for 5 years while she was away. I have seen her take in 3 children that belonged to a family member for almost a year while they got their life straight. I remember at one point there was a total of 9 kids living in that house while she was practically a single mom. Her husband was working out of town during the week and would leave late sunday night and be gone until Late Thursday night or sometimes Friday afternoon even. She never missed a beat. She did soccer practice and games, swim practice and meets, she was the PTO President, the Leader of the Girl Scouts, helped with Boy Scouts and even got the volunteer or the year award for the Elementary School that her younger children attended. She was pretty much a fixture at the school. Everyone had breakfast before going to school and lunches made, and then she was right there waiting to hear how their days were as she picked them up school after school. I often wondered how she did it. She did ALL of this while still finding the time to be the friend I so desperately needed at the time. It didnt matter what she was doing if I needed her she always had time. I learned from her what the meaning of friendship really was. I havent been such a great friend to her but she has never skipped a beat. I am so thankful and I truly hope that this year I can give back some of the friendship that she has bestowed upon me..... I love you Scarlett....and I am so thankful that you are my friend! Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your childrens lives and always encouraging a relationship between them and me. I do love them like they are my own! You ROCK the Momma name....I can only hope if I am ever blessed with Children of my own that I can be half the momma that you are.....those children are very blessed that you are theirs!